iSlay, iPods new advertisment

Apple inc. has today announced their new advertising campaign to be known as the iSlay. The slogan is,"Bringing your music back from the dead."Of the five hundred people the slogan was showed to four hundered and eighty seven responded positvely.

Many famous people have already announced how much they like the iSlay campaign. Some of the people include Bill Clinton, Barack Obama(and since he has endoresed it we all know George Bush won't) and even Kevin Rudd. Many actors are also in favout including the wanted George Clooney, Hugh Jackman and more.

If the iSlay proves sucessful then it could lead to a lot more advertising campaigns that Apple have considered but thought against due too not wanting to offend people.

Mcdonalds Scandal

The head office of Mcdonalds is facing charges. They are facing many charges one of which is that their mascot Ronald Mcdonald is a convicted terroist. He is the mastermind behing September 11 2001. The United States is currently convicting the trial for the terror related activities. The Trial is into its fourth day and is expected to last for a month.

Ronald Mcdonald is also facing charges for trying to kill the current Pope so he could take over. Pope Benidict is not very happy about this but has never the less forgiven him. Though some people wish that Ronald was the new Pope, it would make things very interesting.

Mcdonald is also a street racer but hey that is pretty cool. This offense will be taken to the Petty Court. If we were to reveal all of Mcdonalds charges it would be one long list and he deserves to be awarded a medal for the number of laws he has broken.

We are all ashamed that Ronald Mcdonald has proven to be nothing more than a petty criminal, and he should be put away and Mcdonalads should be sold. If anyone else broke any 1 of the laws that he has broken they would have been put in jail faster than John Howard when confronted by an eyebrow waxer.

George Bush, The Man Who Called WMD

Former United Sates president is back in the headlines today. He wants to start a war on the Texas State Country Club after the refused to allow him in. He contacted Barack Obama telling him that the country club had WMD's. Obama has told CNN his reply to Bush's statement saying "George is starting to lose his marbles, if he had any in the first place."

George Bush has said mant places have had WMD's a few of those being Mcdonalds, The Olympics and any other place that has not done what he has wanted.

Bush is very twitchey when it comes to calling WMD's it seems to be what he enjoys doing, although when he does he seems like a little child. Who knows what the next place Bush will accuse will be.

Homer Simpson Neglectful Father

Homer J. Simpson was today arrested and charged for Child Abuse, Neglectful Parenting and selling Government secrets to the Chinese. He was taken into custody at 8:35 this morning and charged. Many of his fans have already tried to pay the bail but they were stopped by Bill Clinton who asked for the money to Get Hiliary some plastic surgery.

Homer Simpson has a long police file already, some of which is to do with his parenting. One such account is that Homer strangled his son Bart after Bart got an ear ring. Homer has strangled his son so many times that the police have had trouble keeping track of it all, although beacuse he is a celebrity he is able to get away with anything minor. He would be getting off the current charges if he had not sold Government Secerts.

Barack Obama, the coolest man ever to sit in the Oval Office has recently revealed what secerts Homer sold to the Chinese. He revealed the Colonel's recipe for Fried Chicken which some people think that Homer deserves the death penalty. Another secret revealed was that Micheal Jackson is still alive and living in Jamaica, getting a little sun light. The last secert was that Barney the Dinosaur is retiring from child performance, he will be missed.

Homer as shown in the picture opposite has strangled his son, this is not the only picture we have obtained. He deserves to be put behind bars and replaced in the tv show The Simpsons, Carl would be a great subbstiute for Homer. This sort of actions could ruin Barts life and put him in theropy for years to come. I like many think Homer deserve the worst punishment available, an hour listening to Kevin Rudds Speach's. Since Homer sold secerts to China he will be tried by the Supreme Court and if found guilty any punnishment could happen, all is up to the judge. Lets hope that Justince works.

Rudd's Outrage

Kevin Rudd has been causing uproar across the world, trying to get support to stop the United Nations plan to move Atlantis to China. He belives that it would cause even more pollution for China but let us here at The Public Infortmation Act reminde him that his hair dryer produces more pollution considering how many hours he spends in front of it. With China having no idea what is planned beacuse no one has told them they belive Rudd is causing trouble and are known to have told him to back his little lepracheun self away. Many countries agree with China and wish that Rudd would back off considering it is none of his business.

Now let me quickly remind you all of the situation around the finding of Atlantis. It was discovered right in the middle of London. Great Britian was planning to turn it into a giant community for drug users till the United Nations Intervened. The United Nations also had a plan, theirs was to turn it into a giant Meth lab so all drug users would flock there then they would move it to China to ruin their economy.

Rudd has recently decided to take the United Nations to court over the plan, though what amazes people is that China still doesn't know what is going on in the world. We will soon know what will happen and will keep you all up to date on the matter and hopefully we have seen the end of that little man's our cries.

The Real Boy From Oz

Hugh Jackman, star of X-Men, Van Helsing and the gay films Happy Feet, Australia and The Worst Play Ever made titled "The Boy From Oz" a play were Jackman plays a gay guy who pranses all over stage trying to hook up with guys. Many People will know that Hugh Jackman was recently voted Sexiest Man In The Universe, what no one knows is that he only won because the other men in the competion were all Mexican Geeks. The Australian people are sorry for producing Jackman and Kevin Rudd is expected to make an apology to the entire world in the coming weeks.

When Hugh Jackman first started acting people thought he would be a good actor, but oh how wrong they were. As shown in the above picture Jackman likes to dress like a poof. Jackmans acting has caused many debates since his first film. He is known to have tried a lot of ways to get Heath Ledgers part in Brokeback Mountion, although without sucsess. He is famous for playing a man with claws, homosexual tendancy's, savagness and retarded Wolverine.

A petition is currently being passed around Australia, it asks all Australians to sign in order for the country to banish Jackman from Australia and take away his citizenship. A few people me included feel that the petition is not enough and wish for capital punishment to be brought back in.

Hugh Jackman i am speaking directly to you now, you have caused so many people deep emotional anguish and i therefore put forward a request for you to quit acting, move to Mexico and leave every one alone once and for all.

Urgent Notice, Atlantis has been found.

The Government of Great Britian today announced that they have discoverd the lost city of Atlantis. The location was announced five minutes ago, it is located right in the middle of London. I really don't know how no one ever found it i thought it would be bloody obvious a huge gaping city sitting right in the centre of London. The British have decided to destroy Atlantis and turn it into flats to put all there poor drug users away from public view. This decision has caused huge international backlash, with other countries wishing to store there drug users in Atlantis. The United Nations has since put forward an idea to the British Parliment, it suggests that Atlantis becomes a giant Meth lab to attract every single drug user in the world, once they are all inside they plan to lift it off the ground and put it right in the centre of China to stop them growing a stronger economy.

One country is against the United Nations plans. Japan has voiced out rage saying that not only will this plan put there Meth industry out of business but they will also not be the ones to destroy the Chinese people. Japan has since put forward an alternitive to the United Nations that the Japanese are the ones who produce the origanal Meth and the the lab and then also be the ones to move Atlantis to China.

Kevin Rudd, A Evil Dictator

As a lot of you will know the Australian Prime Minister is Kevin Rudd. He has been in power since 2007. He is a vicious dictator and has forced the Australian people into economic troubles. Unlike he predecessor John Howard, Kevin Rudd has not continued the old tradition of Prime Ministers of sucking up to the American President and doing anything they wish, because Rudd has refused to suck up the Americans responded by creating Swine Flu and spreading it around to teach is a lesson. When Kevin is happy his eyes start to glow red and he starts to rant in Mandorin. The only reason people can stand that cocky dwarf is that he keeps giving out money to stay in favour.

Kevin Rudd is a menace on our society and must be controlled, because of his ignorance and refusal to suck up to America, Australia is starting to become a third world counrty. He is causing us to be almost as bad as the French and lets face it who would want to be French, even the French don't want to be French. The reason know one has bothered to remove him from office is that well who has the time to go and see him and then tell him that he is sacked as Prime Minister although if we had the time we would sack him.

Kevin Rudd has a special ability, when he concentrates hard he turns into Rudkip. He becomes half man and half Mudkip. Rudkip likes to curl up in his office and shoot water at everyone. The only Rudkip currently in existance is the Australian Prime Minister. He is one of a kind although a lot of people wish there was no Rudkips in existance.

I put forward a request to Ash Kethem to come and catch the rare Rudkip, if Rudkip was caught all Australians would be happy and it would pave the way for the great John Howard to come back into office and fix all our problems in a few short weeks. I recently put a bill into the parliment, the bill was titled Propisition 24 which states Should we allow Ash Ketchem to catch Rudkip yes/no. The bill is put to the people in the coming weeks if sucsessful the Australian government will write to Ash asking for his help.

The Next Great Pop Star

I recently discovered that George Clooney was the one behind Micheal Jacksons death. The motive behund the killing was that George Clooney has decided to become a pop star, George likes to be the best at everything even though he is a terrible actor and only gets by because he blackmails directors into allowing him a role in the films. The police have been trying for years to put George behind bars but he has an ability to weasel his way out of it but not now every single Micheal Jackosn fan is outraged and is demanding his head on a silver plater, although i personally would rather see him strapped in an electric chair and fried.

There is a special police division know as the G.C.C.D(George Clooney Crime Division). If you know of a crime he has commited or a crime he plans to commit call the G.C.C.P(George Clooney Crime Provention) 1800-66-436743(1800-No-George). It is important that we put this mad man behind bars as soon as we can. He is a danger to all civilized society and a growing problem in modern days.

There are many reasons to hate George Clooney but i will only mention a few. One such reason is that he always does the same move in his movies(head down, raises it a little then looks) another reason is that he is boring and well i must say not good to watch. The only thing worth watching involving George Clooney is the Batman he is in and an episode of American Dad. The last reason i will mention is that he is George Clooney.

There is one thing we can take solace in, the fact that he is Not Hugh Jackman.

England, The Next Nazi's

It has been revealed that England has a plan to become the new Germany. They have already started work on a new flag as shown. A source close to thoughs behind the change have leaked some infortmation one of which is that they plan to attack France and Poland at the same time. Poland is expected to be under British control 5 minutes after they attck, all it will take is a note saying"We are taking over I.O.U 5 divisions," Queen Elizebeth was unavailable for comment today so we could not get her opionion though the least favourite member of the Royal Family, Prince Charles said" what we do with our power is our own business and we expect people to follow," so it would seem like they are up to something, although we will have to wait to find out what it is.

I say we send the English a message and attack them now so that we can prevent the French from being attacked because we can not lose our supply of Crosaints, France is the main source of Crosaints. We can not allow this precious recources to be lost and we are able to keep our frog population due to the fact that we export them all to France. The last thing I have to say about the new British regime is that they may think they are Nazi's but all they are, are Bristish in need of dental care with pointy helmets.

Just try to imagine Feur Elizebeth, its hard to take seriously isnt it.