The Truth About Lupus

Lupus is a disease though you could hardly count is as one becuase it is never Lupus. Wikipeida defines Lupus as "Lupus is a chronic inflammatory disease that occurs when the body's immune system attacks its own tissue and organs." There have only ever been a few documented case of Lupus in History so we move for Lupus to hence after not be known as a disease. One of the people helping support us and is the model on the poster is Actor Hugh Laurie who plays Doctor Gregory House in the tv show House M.D.

We want a Convention held in Geneva to make this an International agreement so that at last people will stop suggesting that its Lupus because...

IT'S NEVER LUPUS!!!

The World in American Eyes

The American government has realsed the new wolrd map to be used in all U.S class rooms from this point on. The Map has already created a lot of negitive publicity for the American Government. The reason for a change is still a Government Secert.

The map has caused an International debate about if the Americans have been racially insinsitve or if they are just telling the truth. I guess we will soon find out but alteast America is trying to teach the children about the enitre world.

Harry Potter Condoms

New Harry Potter Merchindise is now available at all retailers. You are now able to buy Harry Potter condoms. They are guarented never to break due to there magic material and they are also invisible due to the invisibility charm placed upon them. Harry Potter himself endorsess them and even quoted their slogan and the grand unveiling.

The slogan for the condoms is the following"Protect your wand from"wand" from "Hogwarts" when entering her"Chamber of Secrets"".

We also support the new condoms and advise you all to buy a box if you have any children that like Harry Potter, they will love it.

Brock Obama Picks His Cabinet

United States of America's President Brock Obama has today announced his Presidential Cabinet and they are as follows:
Secretary of State: Misty
Secretary of Treasury: Psyduck
Secretary of Defence: Mewtwo
Attorney General: Charmander
Secretary of Interior: Ash
Secretary of Agriculture: Bulbasaur
Secretary of Commerce: Gary Oak
Secretary of Labour: Onix
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Mew
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: Squirtle
Secretary of Transportation: Abra
Secretary of Energy: Pikachu
Secretary of Education: Professor Oak
Secretary of Veterans' Affairs: Kabutto
Secretary of Homeland Security: Deoxys

Dogs Playing Poker & Pool Must Be Stopped

Dogs playing poker and pool has been going on for a few years now but it has reached the point were it can no longer be tolerated so the Australian government has decided to kill any Dog caught doing either. The new policy is considerd by many to be a bit of an over reaction, but no one has big enough balls to go against the Australian government no matter how weak they are. It is well known that Kevin Rudd (a.k.a Big K) is afraid of Dogs and is trying get rid of them to hide that fact.

Although Rudd is afraid of Dogs it was actuelly Barack Obama's idea for the policy and Kevin Rudd while on his knees infront of Obama is noted to have said "mmh" when asked the question. It would seem that Australia is know at war with every single Dog in Australia. If the War is succseful then Brock Obama will start a war with the Dogs in America(and we don't mean the ugly girls).

We Advise All Dogs To Go Into Hiding

The Truth of Phone Sex

A shocking Study has been realesed today documenting what Phone Sex is like for a Phone. It turns out that a Phone goes through tremedous stress and anxiety during Phone Sex. The amount of stress that they go through ruins their lives and yet people don't give the Phone a second thought.

Many Phones have also been rapped and never been the same again, while these Phones are usually replaced at their jobs they then end up in councilling for the rest of their life, because of people who participate in Phone Sex. It is because of this that a orginization has been set up to help Phones recover from Phone Sex.

Barack Obama Steps Down

Today the United States of America's President Barack Obama has resigned. It has been revealed that his brother Brock Obama will be sworn in on the 27th of November. The American Public is shocked by Barack Obama's notice but they seem to have confidence in his brother to keep the country afloat.

We all wish President Electe Brock Obama well with his new position in government, and also to all the women who shall be servicing the new President

Dumbledore, Comes Out His Magical Closet

Today Albus Dumbledore the esteemed Headmaster of Hogwarts admit he was gay. The public is shocked by this sudden announcment. The wizard community are equally as shocked as we are.

There is still no news on how Harry Potter is taking this news. While many may question the unhealthy realationship that Harry and Dumbledore share, we belive it is healthy for an old gay man to be spending a lot of time with a young boy. Though its has been reaveled that Dumbledore's partner is none other than Gandalf.

Voldemort today also spoke publicly after Dumbledore's announcement saying he knew Dumbledore was gay. When Voldemort was at school Dumbledore tried to hook up with him. It seems everyones favourite wizard is nothing more than a gay pedofile.

Hiatis

We have recently been on a hiatis has been caused by some rather unkind Governtment Officials who have been looking for us. We avoided them by hiding in a Dutch mans attic. There were several other people in there with us. One little girl stood out above the rest, her name was Anna Frank. Anna and her family were hidimg from the Nazi's but i am sorry to say were found. Our wishes go with Anna and her family.

The Public Infortmation Act is now back.

New MMORPG, Outside

The Creator of the Sims franchise today announced his new game called Outside. Its a real life game that everyone can play for free, with great graphics and you can touch, see, smell, hear and taste with in the game. The game offers a huge world to explore and the player is able to make any deision they want about the game.

One of the down sides of the game is that you only get one life so once u die thats it you can no longer play again. All you computure Geeks should try this game as soon as you can.

New Swiss Army Knife

Today it was offically announced that there will be a new Swiss Army Knife. It will include all the origanal features and many new abilities. One of the new feautures is that the Knife will have a small lightsaber on it around about 4 inches long. The tiny lightsaber was inspired from the Star Wars movies, George Lucas has already been paid royalties for his idea. The lightsaber is powered using a tiny generator that draws its power from the people's around it who hate George Bush, their hate fuels it.

Another feature of the New and Improved Swiss Army Knife is that it contains a mini pistol, flamethrower, trip wire, oil slick, transforming abilities, cell phone, ipod and you can order fries with it.

Many countries have already placed orders for it. The Knife is expected to be International in 2 weeks. Australia, America, France, Germany, Russia and Great Britian were the first countries to place orders in huge amounts. Many hail the Knife as a gift from God himself.

In 2 weeks time you all could have your hands on the New Swiss Army Knife, its getting ever closer.

Grover Starts A Blog

Today Grover approached us here at the Public Infortmation Act and asked us to help him with a Blog of his own. We are now proud to report that we are now Grover and The Public Infortmation Act, and we hope that the Grover Chronicles last a long time.

We recently posted a blog about Grover looking for a job, well that is still true his blogging is just part time and he wants a full time jod. All those who find a job for Grover please contact us or him.

Grovers Blog is titled the Grover Chronicles, we wish him all the luck with his Blog and we would also like to inform you that not only will he help us with The Public Infortmation Act, but we will be helping him with the Grover Chronicles.

Go see Grovers Blog, grover-chronicles.blogspot.com

George Bush, A New Actor

George Bush's life has recently been made into a movie. The movie is titled "American Psycho". It is due to be realesed in late September of this year. Bush plays himself in the moive although he is not very good at the character and it still amazes us all here that he is so bad at playing himself in a moive about himself. The film is set to be realesed all over the world making George Bush an International Actor. The film also focuse's on barack Obama taking over the White House and Presidency of America, and how much it saddend Bush to leave his Office.

There is one main flaw with the movie, it shows George Bush being popular with the American people. American Psycho makes Bush look like he is a Saint or even God, which is proberlly how he see's him self when he looks in the mirror.

The Film seems like a huge waste of money and we advize you all to never ever watch it, it will be 2 hours you will never get back.

The Joker Strikes Again

Today another murder was commited by the infamous Villian, The Joker. This time he murder was a world service, he killed of Curious Georege and his handler. The bodies were discoverd next to a Joker playing card.

Police artists have already made a picture of what they think might of happened at one point during the murder. It is a well drawn picture showing a lot of detail about The Joker. Batman has failed to stop him so far and is reported to have given up after The Joker went to far by calling Batman fat and publicly humilated him by dropping Batmans pants. When Batman was today asked if he would go after The Joker, Batman said, "well no i will not, after all The Joker did what we all wanted to do and i am glad Curious George and his handler are gone," It would appear the Dark Knight is not going to be of any help.

For once we all applaud The Jokers acts but he will still be hunted and the $1,000,000 reward still stands for his capture, so all of you see if you can catch him and earn some more money.

Grover, The Jobless Puppet

Many of you would have grown up watching Grover, the weird but funny blue puppet from Seasme Street, is now jobless. He left Seasme Street 2 years ago after severl confrontations with Elmo. He has had a couple of jobs since Seasme Street some of which is being a Super Hero and a Doctor. While he has tried hard to hold down a job Elmo has a lot of connections and has been making it nearly impossible for Grover to find a long time job.

Many of you who have watched Seasme Street know that some times Grover become Super Grover, well after he quit the street he decided to become Super Grover all the time. He handeled many problems from rescuing cats from trees, taking out trash all the way to almost succeding in capturing the infamous Rudkipz. He even received an award from former President George Bush for helping Bush to open a door,(George was pushing on a pull door). Although Super Grover was doing so well he was soon put out of business, Elmo had Batman and Spiderman take him out of the Super Hero game. Once again he had no job.

Another Job that Grover attempted was to be Doctor Grover. He also appeared in 1 Scrubs episode during season 8. Doctor Grover was considered the next Patch Adams after the way he could make any patient laugh no matter what was wrong with them. He worked at many hospitals and soon become one of the greatest Doctors of all time, although he was a little unhygenic, considering he hardly baths. Grover had many patients one of which was Micheal Jackson just before he died, Grover was the Doctor who prescribed the drugs which actully brought about the death oh Micheal Jackson. All thoughs who want some one to blame for Jacksons death blame Elmo, after all it was Elmos fault that Grover was a Doctor. After a few months as a Doctor Elmo struck again and had Grover charged on trumped up charges, he was found innocent but lost his medical licence.

Now Grover is looking for a new job. If it weren't for Barack Obama being President of America Grover could have taken it, after all he is more popular and smarter than Bush ever was. So if anyone has any jobs going please call Grover immediatly on 040145598

Sheriff Rudd

Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd today announced he will retire from politics and go up in the world and try his luck as a Sheriff. Sheriff Rudd will be assigned to the Outback of Western Australia were he will uphold the law. Many people already support his change of career and hope he will do a better job as Sheriff.

When asked what equipment he needed and when he could start Rudd simpily said "Give me some fluffy pink handcuffs and i will start straight away" it would appear Rudd has already stopped using his big words and is talking like all normal people. Kevin seems very enthsuastic about becoming a new Sheriff and does not want to waist any time so we all agree to give him his handcuffs and throw him into the Outback.

Good luck Sheriff Rudd you will NOT be missed as the Australia Prime Minister and who knows you may become more popular now.

Kevin Rudd's Outburst

Today Kevin Rudd attacked an Air Hostess after they messed up his Happy Meal. The Hostess involved works for Qantas and is used to roudy passangers but she stated that "Mr Rudd is the worst person i have ever met." Rudd's Happy Meal was supposed to have a cheese burger with no pickles but the Hostess forgot to take the pickels out.

Australia's Prime Minister has a some what short temper, having thrown many well publiced hissy fits. One of these such hissy fits was on other plane when he yelled at a Hostess cause they messed up his food. Rudd has also screamed at people because he couldnt find his Hair Dryer.

Does Australia really want a Prime Minister who throws sads about a Happy Meal or a Hair Dryer? Kevin Rudd has turned out to be a huge embarressment to the Australian government and worse a huge let down to the public. We here by ask some one to make Rudd step down before we end up more of a joke then the 2000 Syndey Olympics.

Mr Rudd we have a new slogan for you, Kevin 07, What A Joke!

Nazi and Soviet Union at War, again

Another War has broken out today, this time between Sovet Union and Nazi Germany. This has happened before, during World War 2. The main reason for the war is still currently unknown though we hope to find out as soon as we can. It will be amazing to see how this war turns out considering the huge size of Russia compared to the tiny countrey of Germany.

First of all we will look at the Soviet Union and how there people are taking the news that they are once again at war with Germany. The army of the Sovit Union is in great shape and has about 9 Divisions in the western side of Russia with 5 more divsions coming from the east of the country. As far as the government is concerned they will destroy the Germans in a little under a week. There have been no demonstrations against the wat yet though massive enlisting has and is happening, it seems the public is fully behind the war.

Now as for the Germans, it would appear that they are not so well equiped for this war. They have 8 Divisions in all to fight the Russians. The German government has already put in help from its allie NATO, but no decision from NATO has been made yet. The German Public does not seem to enthusiastic about the War considering that the last 2 major wars the were involved in did not go well. It would seem that Germany will soon be under Soveit control. People in Germany dont seem happy and there has already been huge demonstrations and a few attacks on government ministers directly involved with the War. We would advise Germany to seek an end to these hostilites before it means the end of their glorious country and the Soviet Union becoming even bigger and powerfuller.

America does not wish to see its greatest threat, the Soviet Union become stronger so they have asked their greatest asset to sort the trouble out. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are now on their way to Russia to stop the War. As many of you will know the Power Rangers have stopped many Villains from destroying the world. If they fail to stop the Russians using diplomatic terms they have been austhorized by Barack Obama to use any means to end the War, even if the Power Rangers have to fight them all single handed.

We all wish this War would be over fast and not see any people hurt. If the Power Rangers are killed then many countrie would go to War with who ever was resbonsible for the killing, as the Power Rangers are considered the coolest group of people in the world and because many people fin the Pink Power Ranger to be attractive, many men would be devestated if she died. All of us here at the Public Infortmation Act hope to see a swift end to the War.

Australian of the Year 2009

The Prime Minister of Australia Kevin Rudd today annouced the 2009 Australian of the Year award winner. The winner is none other than the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. He was nominated earlier in the year but because he wasn't an Austalian citizen Kevin Rudd had to push through the paper work in record time.

He was nominated for putting up with Kermet the Frog for even more than a minute. Kermit the Frog has a record of being the most annoying person in the world even worse than Hi-5, Pokemon and George Bush. Swedish Chef deserves more than the Australian of the Year award, in our opinion he is in need of a knighting by Queen Elizebeth the second of England, plus more.

Congratulations Swedish Chef!

Tooth Fairy, Caught at last

The Tooth Fairy was finally arrested today after 2000 years of tyranny. Mr Fairy is well known for breaking into little childrens rooms and taking teeth and leaving money behind, but what else does he do in the childs room. Many people think that Mr Fairy would be good at teaching steath techniques, but he has broken the law many times. The Supreme Court of America has the Tooth Fairy charged with over 80 trillion accounts of breaking and entering.

Barack Obama is currently making a deal with the Supreme Court to let the Tooth Fairy off all charges, so that he can teach the military stealth techniques they could only ever dream off. He has successfully broken into so many childrens rooms that Micheal Jackson would never have been able to beat.

Since we have all lost teeth then we will all have had the Tooth Fairy in our rooms, which is a thought that scares me and i want to see him behind jail beacuse who knows what he did to use while we were all asleep, God only knows. I will sleep soundly at night when i know he is behind bars and no longer braking in to little boys and girls rooms.

Antartica, The 7th State

Australia is currently preparing its troops for a new campaign, they plan to capture Antartica. Kevid Rudd also known as the infamous Rudkip has decided that it is time for Australia to do something worthwhile other than creat vegimite. Australia has long had its eyes on Antartica and the only thing that has stopped it from happening before now is that John Howard couldn't see it from under his eyebrows.

Australia's army has been preparing for this since 1901 but has been interupted by things such as WW1, WW2, and other wars not to mention some of Australias Prime Ministers never knew were Antartica was.

As much as we would like Australia to become a big boy we would advise they pick an easier target, after all the Penguins are violent and merciless fighters and are the ones responsible for the collapse of the Soviet Union. It would be a shame for Australia to lose its entire army, a better target would be new Zealand which is realtivly close to Australia.

Could anyone imagine Kangaroos bouncing around Antartica or a bbq on the ice, No it is not natural but it would work if Australia decided to attack New Zealand first, then decide to fight the Pengiuns.

Geneva Convention Updated.

Today Geneva annouced it is in the process of getting countries to sign its updated convention. The convention is about a new policy they want enforced it is for the Royal Society for the Protection of Politicans(R.S.P.P). The policy has been highly praised by Kevin Rudd and Barack Obama already and other world leaders and simple politicans to all be on board. It is expected to be signed by every single country with in days leading to a happier place for politicans.

iSlay, iPods new advertisment

Apple inc. has today announced their new advertising campaign to be known as the iSlay. The slogan is,"Bringing your music back from the dead."Of the five hundred people the slogan was showed to four hundered and eighty seven responded positvely.

Many famous people have already announced how much they like the iSlay campaign. Some of the people include Bill Clinton, Barack Obama(and since he has endoresed it we all know George Bush won't) and even Kevin Rudd. Many actors are also in favout including the wanted George Clooney, Hugh Jackman and more.

If the iSlay proves sucessful then it could lead to a lot more advertising campaigns that Apple have considered but thought against due too not wanting to offend people.

Mcdonalds Scandal

The head office of Mcdonalds is facing charges. They are facing many charges one of which is that their mascot Ronald Mcdonald is a convicted terroist. He is the mastermind behing September 11 2001. The United States is currently convicting the trial for the terror related activities. The Trial is into its fourth day and is expected to last for a month.

Ronald Mcdonald is also facing charges for trying to kill the current Pope so he could take over. Pope Benidict is not very happy about this but has never the less forgiven him. Though some people wish that Ronald was the new Pope, it would make things very interesting.

Mcdonald is also a street racer but hey that is pretty cool. This offense will be taken to the Petty Court. If we were to reveal all of Mcdonalds charges it would be one long list and he deserves to be awarded a medal for the number of laws he has broken.

We are all ashamed that Ronald Mcdonald has proven to be nothing more than a petty criminal, and he should be put away and Mcdonalads should be sold. If anyone else broke any 1 of the laws that he has broken they would have been put in jail faster than John Howard when confronted by an eyebrow waxer.

George Bush, The Man Who Called WMD

Former United Sates president is back in the headlines today. He wants to start a war on the Texas State Country Club after the refused to allow him in. He contacted Barack Obama telling him that the country club had WMD's. Obama has told CNN his reply to Bush's statement saying "George is starting to lose his marbles, if he had any in the first place."

George Bush has said mant places have had WMD's a few of those being Mcdonalds, The Olympics and any other place that has not done what he has wanted.

Bush is very twitchey when it comes to calling WMD's it seems to be what he enjoys doing, although when he does he seems like a little child. Who knows what the next place Bush will accuse will be.

Homer Simpson Neglectful Father

Homer J. Simpson was today arrested and charged for Child Abuse, Neglectful Parenting and selling Government secrets to the Chinese. He was taken into custody at 8:35 this morning and charged. Many of his fans have already tried to pay the bail but they were stopped by Bill Clinton who asked for the money to Get Hiliary some plastic surgery.

Homer Simpson has a long police file already, some of which is to do with his parenting. One such account is that Homer strangled his son Bart after Bart got an ear ring. Homer has strangled his son so many times that the police have had trouble keeping track of it all, although beacuse he is a celebrity he is able to get away with anything minor. He would be getting off the current charges if he had not sold Government Secerts.

Barack Obama, the coolest man ever to sit in the Oval Office has recently revealed what secerts Homer sold to the Chinese. He revealed the Colonel's recipe for Fried Chicken which some people think that Homer deserves the death penalty. Another secret revealed was that Micheal Jackson is still alive and living in Jamaica, getting a little sun light. The last secert was that Barney the Dinosaur is retiring from child performance, he will be missed.

Homer as shown in the picture opposite has strangled his son, this is not the only picture we have obtained. He deserves to be put behind bars and replaced in the tv show The Simpsons, Carl would be a great subbstiute for Homer. This sort of actions could ruin Barts life and put him in theropy for years to come. I like many think Homer deserve the worst punishment available, an hour listening to Kevin Rudds Speach's. Since Homer sold secerts to China he will be tried by the Supreme Court and if found guilty any punnishment could happen, all is up to the judge. Lets hope that Justince works.

Rudd's Outrage

Kevin Rudd has been causing uproar across the world, trying to get support to stop the United Nations plan to move Atlantis to China. He belives that it would cause even more pollution for China but let us here at The Public Infortmation Act reminde him that his hair dryer produces more pollution considering how many hours he spends in front of it. With China having no idea what is planned beacuse no one has told them they belive Rudd is causing trouble and are known to have told him to back his little lepracheun self away. Many countries agree with China and wish that Rudd would back off considering it is none of his business.

Now let me quickly remind you all of the situation around the finding of Atlantis. It was discovered right in the middle of London. Great Britian was planning to turn it into a giant community for drug users till the United Nations Intervened. The United Nations also had a plan, theirs was to turn it into a giant Meth lab so all drug users would flock there then they would move it to China to ruin their economy.

Rudd has recently decided to take the United Nations to court over the plan, though what amazes people is that China still doesn't know what is going on in the world. We will soon know what will happen and will keep you all up to date on the matter and hopefully we have seen the end of that little man's our cries.

The Real Boy From Oz

Hugh Jackman, star of X-Men, Van Helsing and the gay films Happy Feet, Australia and The Worst Play Ever made titled "The Boy From Oz" a play were Jackman plays a gay guy who pranses all over stage trying to hook up with guys. Many People will know that Hugh Jackman was recently voted Sexiest Man In The Universe, what no one knows is that he only won because the other men in the competion were all Mexican Geeks. The Australian people are sorry for producing Jackman and Kevin Rudd is expected to make an apology to the entire world in the coming weeks.

When Hugh Jackman first started acting people thought he would be a good actor, but oh how wrong they were. As shown in the above picture Jackman likes to dress like a poof. Jackmans acting has caused many debates since his first film. He is known to have tried a lot of ways to get Heath Ledgers part in Brokeback Mountion, although without sucsess. He is famous for playing a man with claws, homosexual tendancy's, savagness and retarded Wolverine.

A petition is currently being passed around Australia, it asks all Australians to sign in order for the country to banish Jackman from Australia and take away his citizenship. A few people me included feel that the petition is not enough and wish for capital punishment to be brought back in.

Hugh Jackman i am speaking directly to you now, you have caused so many people deep emotional anguish and i therefore put forward a request for you to quit acting, move to Mexico and leave every one alone once and for all.

Urgent Notice, Atlantis has been found.

The Government of Great Britian today announced that they have discoverd the lost city of Atlantis. The location was announced five minutes ago, it is located right in the middle of London. I really don't know how no one ever found it i thought it would be bloody obvious a huge gaping city sitting right in the centre of London. The British have decided to destroy Atlantis and turn it into flats to put all there poor drug users away from public view. This decision has caused huge international backlash, with other countries wishing to store there drug users in Atlantis. The United Nations has since put forward an idea to the British Parliment, it suggests that Atlantis becomes a giant Meth lab to attract every single drug user in the world, once they are all inside they plan to lift it off the ground and put it right in the centre of China to stop them growing a stronger economy.

One country is against the United Nations plans. Japan has voiced out rage saying that not only will this plan put there Meth industry out of business but they will also not be the ones to destroy the Chinese people. Japan has since put forward an alternitive to the United Nations that the Japanese are the ones who produce the origanal Meth and the the lab and then also be the ones to move Atlantis to China.

Kevin Rudd, A Evil Dictator

As a lot of you will know the Australian Prime Minister is Kevin Rudd. He has been in power since 2007. He is a vicious dictator and has forced the Australian people into economic troubles. Unlike he predecessor John Howard, Kevin Rudd has not continued the old tradition of Prime Ministers of sucking up to the American President and doing anything they wish, because Rudd has refused to suck up the Americans responded by creating Swine Flu and spreading it around to teach is a lesson. When Kevin is happy his eyes start to glow red and he starts to rant in Mandorin. The only reason people can stand that cocky dwarf is that he keeps giving out money to stay in favour.

Kevin Rudd is a menace on our society and must be controlled, because of his ignorance and refusal to suck up to America, Australia is starting to become a third world counrty. He is causing us to be almost as bad as the French and lets face it who would want to be French, even the French don't want to be French. The reason know one has bothered to remove him from office is that well who has the time to go and see him and then tell him that he is sacked as Prime Minister although if we had the time we would sack him.

Kevin Rudd has a special ability, when he concentrates hard he turns into Rudkip. He becomes half man and half Mudkip. Rudkip likes to curl up in his office and shoot water at everyone. The only Rudkip currently in existance is the Australian Prime Minister. He is one of a kind although a lot of people wish there was no Rudkips in existance.

I put forward a request to Ash Kethem to come and catch the rare Rudkip, if Rudkip was caught all Australians would be happy and it would pave the way for the great John Howard to come back into office and fix all our problems in a few short weeks. I recently put a bill into the parliment, the bill was titled Propisition 24 which states Should we allow Ash Ketchem to catch Rudkip yes/no. The bill is put to the people in the coming weeks if sucsessful the Australian government will write to Ash asking for his help.

The Next Great Pop Star

I recently discovered that George Clooney was the one behind Micheal Jacksons death. The motive behund the killing was that George Clooney has decided to become a pop star, George likes to be the best at everything even though he is a terrible actor and only gets by because he blackmails directors into allowing him a role in the films. The police have been trying for years to put George behind bars but he has an ability to weasel his way out of it but not now every single Micheal Jackosn fan is outraged and is demanding his head on a silver plater, although i personally would rather see him strapped in an electric chair and fried.

There is a special police division know as the G.C.C.D(George Clooney Crime Division). If you know of a crime he has commited or a crime he plans to commit call the G.C.C.P(George Clooney Crime Provention) 1800-66-436743(1800-No-George). It is important that we put this mad man behind bars as soon as we can. He is a danger to all civilized society and a growing problem in modern days.

There are many reasons to hate George Clooney but i will only mention a few. One such reason is that he always does the same move in his movies(head down, raises it a little then looks) another reason is that he is boring and well i must say not good to watch. The only thing worth watching involving George Clooney is the Batman he is in and an episode of American Dad. The last reason i will mention is that he is George Clooney.

There is one thing we can take solace in, the fact that he is Not Hugh Jackman.

England, The Next Nazi's

It has been revealed that England has a plan to become the new Germany. They have already started work on a new flag as shown. A source close to thoughs behind the change have leaked some infortmation one of which is that they plan to attack France and Poland at the same time. Poland is expected to be under British control 5 minutes after they attck, all it will take is a note saying"We are taking over I.O.U 5 divisions," Queen Elizebeth was unavailable for comment today so we could not get her opionion though the least favourite member of the Royal Family, Prince Charles said" what we do with our power is our own business and we expect people to follow," so it would seem like they are up to something, although we will have to wait to find out what it is.

I say we send the English a message and attack them now so that we can prevent the French from being attacked because we can not lose our supply of Crosaints, France is the main source of Crosaints. We can not allow this precious recources to be lost and we are able to keep our frog population due to the fact that we export them all to France. The last thing I have to say about the new British regime is that they may think they are Nazi's but all they are, are Bristish in need of dental care with pointy helmets.

Just try to imagine Feur Elizebeth, its hard to take seriously isnt it.